by Ross Bishop
We tell ourselves that we are happy, but truthfully, we have compromised our existence and are getting by, and we aren’t really happy, either. Why is that? As an aside, when you look around and find that everyone else is doing the same thing, you know that much more is going on. And that is certainly true in this case.
After all, being realistic, you would expect to see people literally busting their humps to deal with the pain that controls their lives, compromises their happiness and destroys their ability to be at peace. But we don’t do that. Why is that?
The simple answer is that we are in spiritual training and have a ways to go to transform the things that trouble us and keep us from being at peace. In our “unfinished” state, we are subject to limiting beliefs like unworthiness and unlovability that keep us from embracing the truth about who we really are.
Training is essential in sports. It conditions the athlete to perform at his or her best. Training is challenging, demanding, and difficult. The same is true with life, except that everyone on earth is on the team and has to undergo the same trials.
This is not accidental. It is intended. We have free will and cannot just be given the truth. We must come to accept the truth for ourselves. This may sound crazy, but the way the Creator designed LIFE is for us to start out believing untruths, and then, through conflict, either within ourselves or with others, to eventually shed those beliefs in favor of the truth.
Today, we are trapped by what we believe, especially about ourselves. The Creator wants us to live in peace, but because of our free will, what He has designed is the best way for us to get there. And you can’t get to the truth by reading a book or doing a workshop. It must be experienced.
So, how do we get to the truth? Interestingly enough, it is through pain. It is rather simple, really. There will be conflict and pain when you try to live according to your false beliefs. When you hold the truth (love and compassion), you feel good. When you do not, it hurts! This is not punishment. With pain, you might look into your beliefs and behavior. Without it, it is doubtful that you would.
There is nowhere for us to go but to eventually embrace the truth. But the path each of us takes to get there will be filled with ruts and potholes created by our resistance to letting go of what is familiar, even though it can be painful. After all, what we believe is based on our experience, and this business of being lovable and worthy seems like a very nice, but distant illusion.
And it has to be a process. One cannot simply jump from believing one is defective and unworthy to embracing the truth of one’s lovability. That belief must be achieved through trial and conflict so that when we come to hold the truth, it will be unshakeable.
So, how does it work? Let’s say you start out not loving yourself. You are lonely and desire companionship, so you enter into a relationship. But when you enter a relationship feeling unlovable or unworthy, guess what happens? Your fear will cause you to hold back, compromising any hope of real intimacy. And as a result, you feel unfulfilled, and your partner will feel cheated. There will be disharmony and conflict. And this is where we usually stop, and then we usually either end the relationship or stay and compromise our desires.
But if we could learn to view our conflicts as warnings that something in us is out of alignment with the truth, we would then have the opportunity to examine our beliefs and change them. And LIFE gives us plenty of opportunities to do that. That sounds easy, but it’s not.
Our life experiences have brought us to where we are through conflict and strife. But we generally do not see our problems as the result of what we believe. All too often, it is the other person’s fault, anyway.
The dilemma is that, although untrue, what we believe about ourselves has been etched into us through our pain and our experiences. It is very difficult to dispel what we believe because some teacher or a spiritual practice offers us the remote fantasy of a happier life.
The Universe is a place of constant flux and change. Stasis is a fleeting fantasy. You are not the person you were yesterday, and you will be different tomorrow. Our present goal is to find and live in the truth about ourselves. That would represent a significant change for both humanity and the planet. I cannot say what lies beyond that, but I look forward to finding out.
