by Ross Bishop
You came to earth to complete a phase of your spiritual development. So did everyone else. And because of that, there will be times, because of your unfinished nature, when you come in contact with others and create conflict and friction. This is especially true for children who develop their self-images through interactions with parents and the wider world. Conflict under those circumstances is inevitable, and as you will see, it is also purposeful.
There is an interesting thing that happens when conflict like this arises. In addition to the “problem,” the youngster makes up a one-line explanation which goes something like, “Mom’s mad, there must be something wrong with me.” Or, “I had a conflict with Jimmy; it must have been my fault.” We carry those manufactured myths with us, and they are acted out in subsequent interactions, confirming their seeming validity. We can’t put a finger on it, but “The relationship/job/friendship failed, therefore there must be something wrong with me.” And then we retreat into our cave and try to find workarounds for “our problems.”
We rationalize, we blame them, and we cover ourselves in shame and in a thousand other ways avoid looking at the core assumptions about ourselves that are driving the conflict. This all came from the belief that we created in childhood about ourselves. After all, these are a core part of how we see ourselves! “I’ve felt defective my whole life; it must be true.”
Do this: take a minute with pen and paper and make a list of the things that are “wrong” with you. Don’t just think about it, do it! For now, don’t look for root causes, just list behaviors: “I get jealous,” “I feel insecure sometimes,” “I don’t love myself,” “I’m not good enough,” etc., etc. - you get the point. I urge you to take a few minutes and do it now!
Here’s the thing: based on your beliefs about yourself, these are the ways you have learned to act, and NONE OF THEM ARE WHO YOU REALLY ARE! They are all based on that originating conclusion/lie that says “You’re not good enough,” or “Something is wrong with you,” etc.
Forgiving yourself is one of the hardest yet most essential practices of self-love. We all make mistakes. We all fall short of our expectations at times. But holding onto guilt, shame, or regret can create an emotional weight that holds you back from fully embracing self-love. And I can sit here all day long and tell you the truth, and it won’t make any difference because of what you have come to believe about yourself. And remember, you came here to learn the truth about yourself, and like it or not, here it is, in your face.
You probably don’t realize this, but each step in your life has been carefully designed to nudge you toward your way home. All of this stuff that has happened to you has been created to help you find the truth about yourself. It is a bumpy path because we resist change and primarily learn from our mistakes. Do something right, and you don’t learn much. But screw up, and all hell breaks loose! So the system has been created to allow you to stumble just enough to challenge your limiting beliefs. And the more you resist, the more difficult and stressful the path becomes.
One of the other problems we have is that God could not have simply given us the truth when we began, because that would have violated our free will, an essential aspect of our being. So He has given us the myth of choice. In the moment, you can make choices - to decide for yourself - that you are worthy and lovable - or not. But over the long term, your fate has already been decided. There is only one place you can go. But in the interim, you are free to make your life a living hell, should you choose to. In any case, in the interim, you’ll have this voice telling you that “You’re not OK,” “You ’re not good enough,” etc., etc. But at some level, you know this is all a smokescreen. You act on your feelings while being conflicted between them and the truth, which you feel deeply.
I want to offer you a method that will connect you with the truth about who you are. It can serve as an anchor to use whenever you have doubts about yourself. In doing this, you will shake up your established patterns, and they probably won’t give up easily, but since everything exists to help bring you home, what we are really talking about here is your inbred reluctance. I have been teaching this technique to clients for years, with universally remarkable results.
The method I want to teach you will give you a direct link to The Creator. And as you will learn, this process is easy to contaminate with your conscious mind. The steps are simple, but we like to overcomplicate important things. This practice is a little easier if you have a working relationship with your inner child, but you can do it without; it’s just a little harder that way.
First, find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed for a while. Close your eyes and shift your attention to the crown of your head. There is a conduit there (we call them chakras), that streams straight upward. When you feel that stream, then ask to be taken to meet with The Creator. In response, you will feel your consciousness rise upwards.
Note: This is the place where interfering beliefs (we call them dark energies) will try to distract and interfere with what you are trying to do. When you encounter these energies, that tells you that your negative beliefs are being triggered. You really don’t want these energies in your life. These are the same voices that tell you are unworthy and unlovable.
If you come across anything that seems “off,” shallow, or “thin,” or that does not seem totally sincere, tell it to leave. The voices may try to confuse the situation, and these guys are good! But if you listen carefully, you will find their energy has a hollow quality. Don’t be surprised if you encounter several interfering energies. Stay with the process and try not to get distracted - because that’s what “they” want. If it gets to be too much, open your eyes and take a short break. Then come back to this place.
Being aware of your dark side (and we all have one) is actually a gift because it brings their existence and your resistance to the truth into your awareness, and then you can deal with them. But that is a whole other subject for another discussion. For the moment, send them out. Tell them to leave, and they must (at least temporarily).
Continue to ask to be taken to meet with the Creator. Allow things to unfold. You will know when you arrive; the space will be austere, simple, and yet unmistakable. Keep things simple. Take a question with you. Perhaps ask if you are lovable or if there is anything “wrong” with you. Ask if you are worthy! Don’t expect a conversation. You will likely hear just a few words, but take whatever you get to heart.
When you feel finished, give thanks and return. Keep what you have been told close - write it down! Hold it close to your heart, and use it! It is the truth! Use it as an anchor as you go through your days. It will help to keep you connected to the truth, even though it probably contradicts the beliefs you hold about yourself. And do this exercise as often as you need.
How do I know this is not just some Jedi mind trick? After all, this may only be a way to connect with your higher self. I have been doing this exercise for many years and the advice my clients receive has always been explicitly perfect, even when they didn’t want to hear it. And for the skeptics who don’t believe in God, if the advice is perfect, who cares where it comes from?
The nameless author known as “The Fallen Poet” has written a collection of works entitled Between Heaven and Earth, Poems about Losing and Finding Yourself inwhich he eloquently speaks about the struggle we have been discussing. I highly recommend that you get the book ($17 on Amazon). He also publishes a good deal of his art and poetry online. I offer two of his poems that speak to the issues we have been discussing:
Let Go
Sometimes you just have to let go. Not because you want to, but because holding on is only making you sink.
You can fight reality all you want, but the truth remains - there are things beyond your control. There are people you cannot change, situations you cannot fix, and outcomes that were never meant to by yours. And that’s okay.
The real battle isn’t with the world, it’s with your own mind. The overthinking, the wishing, the what ifs - they do more harm than the actual loss. We trap ourselves in stories that no longer serve us, in memories that refuse to fade, in emotions that keep looping back to the same pain. But life is not asking you to suffer. It’s asking you to see.
The people who hurt you, the love that was never returned, the moments that shattered you - they were never punishments. They were lessons, paths, and turning points. They were meant to shape you, not break you.
So instead of mourning what wasn’t, try to understand what is. Instead of asking why life didn’t go the way you planned, ask what life is teaching you through it.
One day, the pain will settle into wisdom. One day, the confusion will turn into clarity. And one day, you’ll realize that every detour, every goodbye, every unanswered prayer was leading you to something far greater than you could have imagined.
You may not see it yet. But trust me - one day, you will.
And here is the second:
You asked for strength
You asked for strength, and life gave you obstacles to overcome.
You wished for a clear mind, and you were thrown into chaos to find your own clarity.
You longed for growth, and you were pushed into discomfort, forced to break through the limits you once knew.
Everything serves a purpose, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Your new life will demand a price.
It will cost you familiarity, comfort, and the people who only fit the old version of you. It will ask you to walk away from places you’ve outgrown, to let go of what no longer serves you.
But in return you will find something greater.
The right people - the ones who see you, who truly understand you - will meet you on the other side. The spaces you step into will finally feel like home. The life you create will be one that aligns with who you are becoming.
Change isn’t easy, but neither is staying the same.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to take the first step.
