by Ross Bishop
Happiness – we would love to have it, yet we often settle for much less. Sometimes far less. Why is that?
We hurt because we choose not to face what we intuitively know will be a difficult journey — one that involves confronting our beliefs about ourselves. We believe we are unlovable, defective, etc., and we are unwilling to challenge that for fear that it might turn out to be true. After all, what would you do then?
We often struggle with what is in front of us, even though it falls far short of our expectations. After all, our beliefs are with us every day. The idea of having something else, even though enticing, seems difficult to achieve, especially when we start out feeling undeserving.
Instead, we take the “safe” route, which is to compromise on our potential and get by. And that strategy works in the short term, where we mostly live. However, the long-term consequences of those short-term decisions will ultimately prove to be quite painful.
If it’s any consolation (and it probably isn’t), this is the process called LIFE that the Creator has developed for us. You see, He chose not to implant the truth into us because we have free will, and He elected not to violate that. As a result, we had to come to this understanding on our own, so He created LIFE as a way for that to happen.
How does it work? The concept is simple. You start out with a belief that is, by definition, out of alignment with the truth. You’re not lovable, you’re not worthy, something is wrong with you, etc. You know the drill.
Let’s assume, for example, that I feel unworthy. As a result, life will then present me with challenges that are explicitly tailored to my situation and needs. Science teaches us that these are random occurrences, but that is not true. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens here is intentional, planned and purposeful.
So what am I likely to do with my challenge? Given what I believe about myself, I’ll probably duck the situation to avoid it. Then I’ll experience pain because of my decisions. What I’ll do next is to take the situation in and condemn myself for being inadequate, which only further enhances my feelings of worthlessness. And that pattern will continue until I reach some kind of limit. Either the stress will become too great, or I will begin to see through the charade.
There is another way. One that we rarely take, but it is always available. I can learn to use my conflicts as a warning sign that I’ve introduced bias into my life situations. For my part, if I had not introduced bias, there could be no conflict. The other person could (theoretically) go completely bonkers, and I would be calm in the center of the storm.
If I choose to work with my conflicts, I will eventually shed my beliefs and embrace the truth about who I am. And as I say, it can be a challenging process. When he was asked the meaning of life, the Buddha replied, “Life is pain.” It is this essential conflict he was referring to.
If I need another perspective, I can ask my friends, partners, coworkers, counselors, and even God to tell me the truth. In my webinar (to be released soon), I teach an exercise for making a direct connection to the Creator. And if I am willing to listen to how others see me, or in the Creator’s case, to the truth, I can then begin to dispel my beliefs. Is it easy? No, it is not. It is challenging to dispel what we believe about ourselves simply because a partner or friend tells us what they see, but it is a good first step. And be careful to separate how you sometimes act from the truth about who you truly are.
The thing is, you don’t ultimately have any choice about this. One way or another, you will end up where we are all going, i.e., to live in the truth. That has been predetermined. If you refuse to take LIFE’s occasional promptings, your lessons will continue, only with greater intensity. If you resist even more strongly, the Universe will eventually bring you to your knees and force you to deal with your feelings of misalignment. The Hindus call that karma. But I can assure you, that’s doing things the hard way.
When you finally find the truth, you will hold it more steadfastly than any other way could have possibly taught you. And, we have a whole planet of people all going through this same process. Could that be a coincidence? Hardly.
The pain we experience is not punishment. It is a wake-up call that some part of us is out of alignment with the truth. The Creator wants us to live in peace, and, believe it or not, this is the best way for us to achieve it. With pain, you might look into your beliefs and behavior. Without it, it is doubtful that you would.
There is one other thing you should consider. It is a safeguard the Creator has built into the process. And that is that when it comes to emotional issues, you cannot be harmed. (I am separating physical abuse from this discussion because it operates under different principles.) The point is that what someone else says, thinks, or does (absent something physical) cannot hurt you. Their words are only vibrations in the air, and unless you want to learn something from what they said, you are free to ignore them (unless the other person needs your help, which is a discussion for another time).
So there you have it! If you want out of this mess, pay attention to your conflicts. And use your part to come to the truth and dispel the negative beliefs you hold about yourself. And if you can do that, your life will turn completely around.
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