by Ross Bishop
We have met the enemy
and he is us. Pogo
Most people do not have a very good relationship with their inner child. Many people do not even know she exists! They do not want to acknowledge how much she hurts because it disrupts the carefully created daily existence they have built around or in spite of, her pain.
It is easier to ignore the inner child (in the short term) than to deal with the pain that was so overwhelming so many years ago. She had little choice at the time, but you can show her that’s not the case today. Your child will not be willing to expose her woundedness until she is convinced that she will be loved, respected and protected.
You can ignore what is inside for now, but The Universe is going to bring you lessons that ask you to look at your beliefs. It will keep bringing them until you begin to see the false nature of your beliefs and surrender them. And, it will be relentless! When you resist, the pressure will increase until if necessary, every ounce of resistance is exhausted from you and you finally collapse and surrender to the inevitable.
Your inner child, feeling unloved and unlovable, is convinced that she is unworthy. It does not matter that this cannot possibly be true, (but remember she is the source of your emotional power). Faced with a prospect she is convinced will go badly and feeling powerless to do anything about it, she strenuously avoids confrontational situations because she has plenty of proof that she is not OK.
She has been operating "as if" for years, and the feedback has not been good. If she had any doubts before, she has become convinced that something is wrong with her. It does not matter that the feedback is because of her fear-based behavior and not who she really is. She has little idea of the truth and what she does know, is troubling. And so she works very hard to find every way she can to avoid and get by.
The irony is that what she fears (and you may also believe) cannot possibly be true. There is simply no way you can be damaged or defective. It would conflict with one of the fundamental laws of The Universe! That is not to say that you cannot FEEL that way, but it still cannot be true. Your behavior may sometimes be appalling, but who you are cannot be. And this is a very important difference. Yes, you have some things to learn, that is why you are here. It also explains why you sometimes mess up. But that does not make you bad or defective, it only means that you are sometimes confused and lost with some things to learn.
Many people are concerned about what they are supposed to do in life. The confusion is because there is no plan. So we turn instead to making money, looking good and being socially acceptable. The Universe doesn’t care about those things. You are not “supposed” to be doing anything other than developing yourself. The Universe is only interested in how you live your life, in the completion of your work. It does ask that you not interfere with that. Other than that, you are free to do as you wish.
Many teachers have shown us the path of truth. You are here to align yourself with who you are at the core of your being. When you do that, you align yourself with The Creator. When you separate from that, there will be pain. The example of our teachers stands like beacons in the fog.
The system has been designed so that as you live your life, pressure will be applied to every choice you make that does not reflect the truth. Healing your wounds allows you to come in off the side roads and walk in truth on what Native Americans call the “red road.” God has determined the outcome, you choose your path.
But whether you choose to be a shoemaker, a banker, or live at the North Pole, God doesn’t care. He does, however, care very much about the way you live your life. And He gives you a great deal of help to navigate whatever path you choose. His “help” however, can sometimes be a pretty forceful nudge! But still, you pick the road you will travel.
The challenge is, will you live your life from a place of harmony or will you remain afraid and experience pain? You have the freedom, the free will, to determine for good or ill, what you do. It has been said, "You will meet your destiny on the road you take to avoid it." Deviate from the path and you will create pain for yourself! When you get down to it, life is really quite simple, at least in concept. The “doing” part, however, is a good deal more difficult. What this involves is healing your wounded self.
(excerpted from Healing The Shadow)