by Ross Bishop
This may be difficult to believe, but you are supposed to feel that way. We don’t like to admit it, but at our core, we do feel unworthy and defective - like something’s wrong with us. (And that’s where our story begins.)
You see, you have no choice in the matter. Your spiritual development is in process and as a result, you are going to feel incomplete. And as a species, our group development is not finished either, and that causes our society no end of problems.
Religious people like talk about the final stage - they call it “heaven,” but they (conveniently) omit talking about the difficult journey that lies between here and there. The dilemma is created because we have free will. And because of that, the Creator could not just implant wisdom and understanding into each of us. If we are to come to that insight, we have to accept the truth about ourselves, for ourselves. And how will we do that?
Through learning. And how do we mostly learn? By making mistakes - errors of judgment, if you will - and then learning and growing from our experiences. As an example, if I were to set out the truth about you in this article, you’d probably read it and then go on about your day, without it having much impact. Or, if I told you that you were special in God’s eyes, you might accept that, but it wouldn’t make much difference in your life.
But, if I were to start you out believing that something was wrong with you, I’d have your attention. You’d question it, wrestle with it, maybe even partly believe it, until you finally challenged it and proved to yourself that nothing was wrong with you. And because you will have tested that premise through the fires of hell, you will hold that truth more deeply than any other method could have taught you. And that is the secret to life. And it is also why we have come to Earth.
Do you really think that God would have created this incredibly beautiful complex of life here on earth in order for you to work for an insurance company for 50 years, have a couple of kids and then die? Surely there is a great deal more to life than that . . . And, there is. . . much, much more. . .
The point is that until you can stand in the truth, you are probably not the person you think you are. You are so much more that that, but it is difficult to hold that perspective from where you probably are today. I am not a religious person, but Christ spent a good deal of ministry urging us to love others and ourselves. every other spiritual teacher did too!
One of the best definitions of self-awareness that I have found comes from Steven R. Covey. He defines self-awareness as “our capacity to stand apart from ourselves and examine our thinking, our motives, our history, our scripts, our actions, and our habits and tendencies.”
Is this starting to make sense? You don’t have to like the process - you probably won’t - but the best way for the Creator to bring you home is to start out with you believing untruths. Notice please, that He doesn’t throw impossible challenges at you, He gives you just enough to make you feel uncomfortable and to challenge you. If it gets worse than that, it is because of the resistance we put up along the way. And lord knows, we are good at that! We can turn a molehill of self doubt into a mountain of self-condemnation and shame. But working through that is also an essential part of the process too!
We can learn from each other, if we choose. Did you learn from your first marriage? Or do your friends or kids show you things? Opportunities are all around you. We have also had special teachers - spiritual guides who offer us insight on the best path to take. These will not come from the business, financial or political centers, because these organizations have no soul. We must look to our spiritual (not religious) teachers such as Christ, Buddha, Neem Karole Baba and Lao Tsu or their disciples. But spiritual lessons are difficult! You have to go deep and undo what you have come to believe about yourself! But, this is much easier said than done.
Statistics imply that we probably have much further to go in our journey of “becoming” than we think we do. In a TEDx Talk, Tasha Eurich states that 85% of people think that they are self-aware, but she maintains that only 15% of people are actually there. We probably have much further to go in our journey of “becoming” than we think we do. Ryan Gottfredson collected self awareness characteristics from a number of sources and compiled them:
SIGNS YOU ARE SELF-AWARE
- You take responsibility for how you respond to things and people (rather than trying to change those things and people).
- You don’t assume you are better than average.
- You are conscious of the fact that how you speak says more about you than what you say.
- You acknowledge and accept other people’s feelings, even if you don’t understand or agree with them.
- You don’t start conversations about politics or religion with the intent to prove yourself right, only to better understand another’s perspective.
- You are responsive, not reactive.
- You see your discomfort as an opportunity for growth.
- You don’t assume you know how other people perceive you, but you also try to remain conscious of social clues to insure you aren’t being ignorant of other people’s needs or comfort.
- You don’t overshare, or speak to other’s with the intention of getting a response from them (e.g., you say things to create a large expression of sympathy, admiration, and so on).
- You don’t insult other people in order to make yourself feel better.
- You accept critical feedback as crucial information you will need in order to learn and grow, not a condemnation of your ability or character.
- You are kind to people who don’t necessarily deserve it. You know it is not your job to determine who is worthy of kindness, but rather, show it regardless.
- You are highly introspective. You evaluate your feelings, are hungry to grow personally, and know that understanding yourself is the key to understanding others
- You don’t expect to feel “good” all of the time, therefore you don’t extrapolate the meaning of a bad mood or a bad day.
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE NOT SELF-AWARE
- You get defensive easily.
- You are controlling.
- You are passive aggressive.
- Your behavior changes.
- You’re grandiose.
- You make excuses.
- You micromanage.
- You avoid or deny feedback.
- You don’t feel like you you’re in the driver’s seat.
- You don’t know who you are.
- You feel like you’re not following your purpose or path in life.
- You allow yourself to live out someone else’s aspirations or dreams.
- You feel unhappy and unfulfilled.
In truth, you are a special being of light but you just don’t know it - yet! You are enough. And despite all our wrangling and gyrations, there is only one place you can end up! Your eventual outcome has already been determined. And no matter how you twist and turn in the process, (and we do!) there can only be one outcome! Some of us will take longer, but that just makes the process more intense. You are going to come home, regardless of the path you chose. It’s just a question of how much pain you will create for yourself along the way.
copyright 2026@Blue Lotus Press
