Forgiving Yourself

by Ross Bishop

If I mess up, you may not like it, but in all likelihood you will either eventually forget my transgression or actually forgive me. After all, we all mess up from time to time, and our capacity for empathy and forgiveness is remarkable – except when it comes to forgiving ourselves. 

In a similar light, you and I could both make the same mistake and you might forgive me, but you would be much harder on yourself. Why is that? What is that condemning voice and where does it come from?

Your ego serves two basic functions. In its normal role, it is an inhibitor that holds you back from things so that you won’t get hurt. It seeks to keep you out of “dangerous” places. It says, “Don’t take that risk, you’ll get judged and criticized.” 

Sometimes however, the ego plays the role of the little devil, urging you to leave your better judgment and play with fire, to take risks that defy your better judgement. This mostly happens around your need to feel loved. Afterwards we say to ourselves, “What the hell was I thinking?” In any case, the attraction to the honey pot is just too sweet, and as I said, nine times out of ten you end up regretting it. 

After such a mistake the ego takes on the role of avenging angel, seeking to make you feel badly, with the goal of insuring that you won’t make that mistake again. Unfortunately about all that does is make you feel badly about yourself, I’m not sure how much it really effects our decision making.

So, are there things from your past that you haven’t forgiven yourself for? What to do? How do you let go of this well intended, avenging angel?

What I am going suggest is that you do an end run on your ego. When you get to the “other side” you will realize that the need you were trying to salve was false and that you can let go of it.

The Essence of Nature Exercise

1.The first step is to recall the difficult situation you have been unable to forgive yourself for. 

2. The second step is to connect with the essence of nature and breathe into it. (Your logical mind may interrupt at this point, but you will instinctively know what to do.) Note: being in nature will help, but just looking out at it will do.

3. The third step is to breathe your breath and the breath of Nature into the situation. 

4. Repeat as needed.

You should feel a shift. This should help the situation immensely. You will still remember what happened, but the charge on it should dissipate considerably.

You can use this technique for anything you are hanging on to that no longer serves you. Using the breathe of nature cleanses and feeds your wound, while at the same time bringing peace and wholeness. And your attention to your breath focuses your consciousness on something that is always positive – breathing life into you. Breath is Love. Love is Breath.

Remember:

When you forgive, you heal. When you let go, you grow.

copyright©Blue Lotus Press 2019

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