Allow me to introduce you to Eric. Eric has been a conundrum to me for many years. He has more spiritual knowledge and experience than almost anyone I know, and yet he has been so estranged from his inner self that his inner landscape was an alien space – like the moon. That of course, has frustrated him. That frustration has caused him on more than one occasion, to check out. Yet remarkably he remains. The other day I received an email from him, containing the notes of a dialogue he had with an inner guide. I think you’ll get the gist of it:
What is going on inside your Heart? “I feel depressed and sad.” Can we go into your heart a little bit? When you connect with your Higher Self you take the vertical approach. You soar upward leaving your body. This creates a split between body and spirit. Layers of your being separate out like cream on the top of milk. And it is a temporary connection.
So, I want you to go into your heart and establish the connection horizontally. From the horizontal you can sustain a clear strong connection to God, you can receive intuitive guidance, you can heal yourself and you can deal with the outside world effectively. The Heart is the place that links everything to everything.
This direction into the heart in the beginning is most often painful because of our wounds. Most people go the vertical approach to avoid the pain. They leave their body. The surface layers of the heart chakra are where the pain resides. The deeper levels of heart take you to the place where you can make a direct connection to God. And this is where pure love resides. The true nature of the heart is Pure Love. Nobody’s heart loses that quality. The heart is the connector between Spirit and Body.
So with our intention and awareness and the help of the High presences we have invoked, let us very gently go into your heart. Imagine your heart being held in a cradle that Mother Devine is rocking. As she does this imagine her pouring out loving kindness on to this delicate Heart in such a manner that it gets saturated with the Essence Of Love . . . Now feel your body and those surface layers and breathe in into your heart. Give yourself permission to feel what is coming up and remain open, so the energy has a place to move to. Relax your muscles in your face, buttocks and rest of your body . . .
What happened during this process? “I became more quiet and still.” How deep did you go? “30%.” Are you willing to go deeper? “Something is in the way of going further. I don’t know how I can. Something is in the way.” What does the block feel like? “It feels like a lot of pain.” What will happen if you go into the pain? “I will get trapped in it and amplify it.” And what would that feel like? “I will be tortured.”
What does your inner child say about this? “I want to get somebody’s attention. I am alone.” This is very clear and understandable. Now, who is it that views that inner child? What part does not want to co-operate? It is the Adult Self that does not want to connect to the child’s pain. What does the child need? He needs Love. Are you willing to give that child what he needs? The child speaks: “Please love me, please hold me. Please pick me up and embrace me with your love. Please touch me. Please acknowledge me. Please care for me. Please be gentle with me. Grant me your loving attention. I hurt. I am alone!”
A disconnect. What happened? “I lost my focus. A lot of fear came up. My lower back hurts like hell.” Why? Because your attention went to the pain in your body where a lot of fear resides. You want to leave him and he is totally against it because he wants security, and that translates into control. You totally identify with him. If your child was trusting, he would let go and receive. Instead, he controls by creating pain in your back.
Do you want a home, a place where you are truly home? Does your ego/personality want a home? “Yes, a very nurturing place.” Your outside reflects your inside. If you want a nurturing place on the outside you have to create one inside.
When we started with love for the child, he came, but you got distracted by the pain in the back and then left him. You felt you did not have the capacity to hold it. Well, your heart has the capacity to hold the entire universe in itself, and that is the truth. It is not about compassion, it is about will. If you really want a nurturing place you have to take responsibility to create it within yourself. There are conflicting energies between your Adult Self and Inner Child. You, the observer, must take the active role of resolving those conflicts.
How much of you wants to remain in the body? “10%.” How much wants to leave? “90%.” Let’s ask God. What does he say? “It doesn’t matter if you stay or die. It is all an illusion.”
You inner child pretty much runs your life. Your child is furious with God and all of creation. He says, “Get me away from here-get me away from these stupid mean humans and all of their problems, their noises and sufferings, their lack of joy and love, and their heartless actions.” Who would want to stay on earth here with that viewpoint?
How does your heart want to respond to that child? “I want to pick him up and love him.” You are sending him love right? What’s your sense about the child, is he receiving the love? “He doesn’t feel worthy of it.”
What going on there? “He got the notion that he is a piece of shit and doesn’t deserve it.” What happens when you feel not deserving – (guilt and shame are playing out). You take the downward spiral. All of your attention is invested in him. You are filled with self blame and self-hatred and not being good enough. That is the child again. And the fact is, you have other parts other than the wounded inner child that are delightful and very wise. But you are identifying with the child voice. You forget those wonderful parts about you.
Yet you continue to being absorbed in your child with your attention. What does it do for you to do that? It shuts you down to having a wonderful life. It gets you off the hook for taking responsibility for your own creation of situations and circumstances. You get so lost in the child that you don’t see a way out.
You need to learn to pull attention away from being absorbed in that part and be a witness to the drama. That will pull you out of the hole you are in. You have the tools. You can’t see and use them if you are absorbed in him completely.
Let’s dream with our imagination. Let’s project into the future an imaginary time when you are really willing to take responsibility and what that would be like. Would you start to spiral down or would you pull yourself out? You would not work the old program. You would choose a wonderful part of you to place your attention upon. That part is pure love.
Dialogue with your child. Totally bathe him in love, and do it over and over again until he begins to really feel and accept your love and be absorbed in it. Love is always there in every moment. It is up to you to choose to go for it. A part of us knows this. The child can choose to not to go to love. It is matter of choice, being love or being the child. That is why I ask you about your heart. The heart is the doorway to that part of you that is willing to receive love and that is the real truth.
All the other stuff like self denial, self-incrimination, self-hatred, the one who feels not nurtured is only real in the 3rd dimension. From God’s point of view is unreal. Death is not real to God. From God’s point of view, all the ways you beat yourself up is unreal.
Who is that that has to take responsibility for choosing, claiming Love? The delightful loving part is the one. You don’t have any trouble accessing the loving part. To be awake and witness of both the child and the love within is your ticket out of hell. Then you have choice to align with Love. So make a decision now to choose love and just watch the drama of your life unfold.
Each part that is limited has limited choices to choose from. Their voices become louder and louder by how much power we give them thru our responses and choices. Ironically the only reason that your child feels so overwhelmed is because you are avoiding Him. You are not responding to him with love. He is not being heard, he is being ignored. And so that part, in an attempt to be felt and heard, draws your attention by either getting louder or by creating pain in the body.
A part of you that you need to see clearly is your adult self, which contains the roles your mother and father and other adults played. That program of Adult Self has to be dissolved. It too is limited in choices. The adult inside you doesn’t want to receive the child. What it boils down to is you have to watch yourself making choices and choose for the best choice, which is always Love in every moment.
You were not born with any particular disability. You learned how to compensate and disable yourself. You have been choosing the old programming and have not been choosing to use the tools, so that is why you are barely here. It is the child you are identifying with, that poor self-image. It is all curable. You could heal that quickly. A friend said, “I was dying physically. A mentor kept saying to me, ‘Everything that makes you think you are not God is false. There is nothing wrong with you. You are no different than other people. You are made to be enlightened. That is the Truth.’ She said her whole body turned around in a matter of a few weeks.”
You complain about receptivity not being there. But your heart, as soon as I tell you to go into your heart, you do it. Most people can’t. You can find your heart and listen to it right away. Your heart immediately gives the child receptivity. You are already there. Your child just needs to learn it, accept it and absorb itself in it. If you bathe it enough in love, he will gradually give up all those old programs. All the old programs are junk. The baby of long ago got those programs downloaded. If your child within had been placed in a loving family he would have gotten the self-worth and self-acceptance programming. But that was not the case. The old programs came from past lives where you beat yourself up. You chose those parents to finish off those programs.
You can either go thru the motions of choosing the old programming or select some new positive ones. You have the clarity now to choose differently. You really need only to let go thru the heart. Understand that we humans are a combination of our beautiful qualities of perfection and mistakes. We are a package which is all of that. You can carry the Cross and the blame and the betrayal, but it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. If you can just open your heart and see as humans that you are Light and also a bunch of mistakes, then you can be truly free.
When anyone feels they betrayed Christ or anyone, it is just setup to play a role of self-hatred. It is a role to be played as part of perfection for destiny to unfold in a certain way. Poor Judas, he really had no other choice. He played his role so Christ could experience the Crucifixion. Who is more a victim, Judas or Christ? Everyone is playing a role perfectly in the enfoldment of Destiny. Look at everything you have done with compassion. The actions, situations, circumstances, the thoughts and feeling you have are not who you REALLY are. If you are hooked in playing a role like you are, there is a payoff, avoiding responsibility of knowing Self.
copyright©Blue Lotus Press 2016