Did you know that there were two yous? One is the person that your partner or friends know. Certainly you are not perfect, but this is a person who means well, is kind, compassionate and understanding. Now it is possible that you don’t let this “you” show very often, but that is because of the other “you.”
The second you is the one you think you are. This is the person you see when you look in the mirror. She comes from your experiences – the hurts & pains, the blows of life. She has experienced anxiety, she can feel vulnerable, angry, defensive and closed off. She can be withdrawn and dark. She knows fear. She is the one you put out front when you feel anxious.
The reason there are two “yous” is that each of you comes from a different place. The real “you,” the one your friends see, is from God. She is beautiful, kind, loving and gracious. She is considerate, generous and understanding.
The other you comes from your life experiences – she’s not so gracious or forgiving. She knows fear and pain. Your parents, former lovers, teachers, ministers, former friends – all gave you messages that some part of you was not OK, that there was something “wrong” with you. And to this day, you believe them. This forms the foundation for this other “you.”
So what’s the difference? Why are there two parts? Stated simply, a part of you does not know or accept who you really are. She does not, cannot, accept your God connection. And when pushed, she retreats into fear and ego. This part gets scared when she is asked to open up and be loving. She does not feel deserving of love herself. As a result, she feels vulnerable to the insults and abuses of life. She is willing to believe the things others say about her.
Now, there is a reason for all this. You see, God wants you to find the truth about yourself. But because you have free will, she cannot just give it to you. You must come to this realization yourself. So she created this business of life on earth so you would become aware of these “vulnerable parts” so that you might choose to heal them.
The way this works is that those parts will create conflicts with others and conflict within yourself until you get tired of them controlling your life. Then you will examine them and decide whether or not they are valid. When you do that, you leave your false beliefs behind and move closer to the God Space.
Until then, you must live as two people, with one creating occasional conflict with the other and you living in a certain amount of pain. Ignore them long enough and the emotional pain turns into physical pain and eventually to disease. Then you have the opportunity again to surrender. There is no way out. It’s a question of when you surrender to the truth. Now is always better than later.