by Ross Bishop
The odds are that you don’t. And what is interesting is that you share that feeling with most of the rest of humanity. It is also why you (and the rest of us) have come to earth. Notice please, I didn’t ask if you were worthy, only what you felt about it. That distinction is very important.
You see, you are worthy. The Creator has made you and you cannot be anything else. But, you can believe otherwise, and those beliefs determine your attitudes and behavior. But you are surrounded by events that constantly reinforce your unworthiness. And when you act on what you believe, guess what kind of feedback you get? And that feedback further reinforces your negative beliefs about yourself. And that is why, when asked the meaning of life, the Buddha answered, “Life is pain.” But there is even more to this. Allow me to explain.
As I said, you came here to work on your beliefs, and the most important of these is your love for yourself (or lack of it). Now, in your natural state you are unblemished. That is the truth. Therefore, any beliefs you create cannot possibly be true! The truth is simply the truth. But, because you have free will, The Creator can’t simply give you self love. It is something you have to come to accept yourself. And in order for the process to work deeply, you have to start out being uncertain about yourself.
Why does it have to be this way? The setup in this situation is for you to start out believing something about yourself that cannot possibly be true. Over time, you will come to see, and accept, the truth for yourself. And in doing this, you will hold the truth more deeply than any other way. That is the perfection of the process.
Your uncertainty begins early in life (an impressionable time) by your parents. Our parents do love us, but they have their insecurities too, and those insecurities cause them to withhold their love at times. They were selected for you for exactly that purpose. As a result we come away from those interactions uncertain about our self worth. The way it plays out is, “Mom (or dad) withheld their love, therefore there must be something wrong with me.” That starts us out on a slippery slope of self-depreciation (often followed by a desire to “earn” other people’s love).
And how do we turn those early assumptions around? We could bask in love, and that is nice, and it does illumine the way. But so long as we hold beliefs of our unworthiness, the love experience won’t go deeply enough to dissuade our beliefs. But it certainly can help!
So how does the transition work? This is where other people come into play, and why we needed to come to earth. At first, we try to relate with others, and it’s like trying to put a square peg in a round hole. It simply doesn’t work. So we modify our approach and try other ways. Some things we try cause us more pain (from which we learn) and other approaches go more smoothly. And what works best is when we learn to bring compassion into the mix, whatever the situation. And with that positive reinforcement, we begin to adapt. The square edges begin to round off.
Something that helps a great deal is to have had at least one loving parent or a grandparent when you were young. That imprint of lovability resides within you like a seed, and although it will be blocked by your beliefs initially, your positive life experiences can eventually cause your negative beliefs to recede. Then the experiences with your loving parent or grandparent will filter through and positively reinforce your process.
Remember, you must get this on your own. You can read books and do workshops, and those things are fine, up to a point. But theory will only go so far. You have to experience this. (A good shaman or guide can be helpful in illuminating the path.)
Your life experiences, now more positive than negative, creates a positive feedback loop that contributes a great deal to your outlook. It is like changing lenses on your glasses – you start to see things differently. And as we continue – adding more compassion to the equation, the square peg continues to round up. And, as we learn to express our natural compassion, the feedback from others becomes more positive. It feels good to express love rather than being in pain, and some of that begins to sink in. We begin to learn more from our successes than our failures.
And as we continue to progress an interesting thing happens. As we develop our compassion for others, we begin to feel significantly better about ourselves. And then, lo and behold, the once square peg now fits in the round hole!
However, getting there doesn’t come easily. Our self love must be deeply rooted before we can move on, and we all get lost in the weeds from time to time. Some people get stuck there and cause themselves a good deal more pain, while they stumble around. It ends up taking them longer to release their beliefs. They will just have to repeat the process until they get it. Their pain is also the motivating force of change. But as I say, eventually we will all it. And remember, because of free will, we have to get it for ourselves. We can, however, show other the way. How? Through what we have learned with our compassion.
What is comforting is that the outcome is predetermined. There is only one way this drama can end. We are all worthy. It is our beliefs that are in question, not who we are. Nothing can change that.
copyright@2023 Blue Lotus Press
