When a relationship falls apart or when a partner cheats, we can be devastated by the loss and crippled by the pain. We have been stabbed in the heart. It is an old and familiar wound. Grief and sadness over a loss is natural, but our pain comes from our attachment, not from our love.
Although we do the best we can, our love often falls short of the real thing. What we call love is often based more on a need to feel loved, to not be alone, “to have someone,” to not feel abandoned and unwanted.
It is not that we are incapable of love, for we do love our children, friends and pets up to a point, but often our need to be loved and our fear of not being loved overwhelms our desire to love openly. We cannot help it, but we become poseurs, dangling our love in front of another needy soul so we can lure them in to get what we need. And sadly, sometimes we will pay almost any price to make that happen.
Much of our culture is based upon the creation of false images that allow us to hide what is inside. Wear the right clothes, cosmetics and hairstyle, have the right smile and attract the man of your dreams. We try and manipulate to the outer because that is easier than dealing with the pain of a hurt and lonely inner child. Having said that, taking care of yourself and wanting to look good is fine, when done for the right reasons.
The need to be loved can become an addiction, the threat of its withdrawal can cause us to sacrifice everything – losing our integrity, honesty, self-respect and dignity in the process. Looking back, we can see the foolish things we did, trying to prop up a relationship that would have failed on its own without artificial support.
Love, when it is true, is freeing. It does not confine or restrict. Real love is not a burden, it is a joy. True love wants whatever is best for the other person. Real love is not an exchange, it’s a one way street. It doesn’t matter what the other person does. Certainly it’s more enjoyable when it is reciprocated, but that is not essential. We must be careful here however, because neediness and longing can easily be confused with the real thing.
God’s presence is the greatest example we have of unconditional love. God gives love to everything, without conditions, without limitation. He does not create good frogs or bad frogs or good or bad people. He just creates frogs and people. God does not withhold oxygen or sunlight from some people. The flowers do not close up when they come by. What we call evil is a human invention. It is human folly that kills God’s frogs.
In the worldly realm, children, dogs and cats are God’s great gift to us of unconditional love. A child just loves – it is their nature. A dog or cat’s love is just there too, no conditions, no limitations, no rules. An animal’s love can persist even when met with cruelty. The challenge for all of us is to learn to love as openly and freely as our children and animals do.
We came to earth to enhance our conscious awareness. Learning to love unconditionally is a big part of that process. Look at what you do not love (especially in yourself). And then, remember Walker’s Rule:
Anything You Do Not Love Will Become A Lesson.
copyright©Blue Lotus Press 2016