When you read a novel, you don’t want to know the plot before you finish it. That works for novels, but it’s not a very good formula for life. But that’s what a lot of us end up doing. We go from problem to problem, without any real grasp of the bigger picture. If you want to make your life better and easier, it helps to understand what’s really going on, and few people do.
We get so caught up in the tumult and struggles of the leftovers from our childhood that we rarely raise our eyes from the smoke of our personal battles. Because of that we fail to see that everyone else is having essentially the same struggles. We have to learn to untangle ourselves from the limitations of our egos and open ourselves to higher levels of consciousness. That is how we will evolve individually and collectively.
In the old myths and fairy tales the hero or heroine undergoes trials to eventually emerge victorious over the forces of darkness. Although the plot of these stories involves struggling with dragons or trolls, fairy tales are not really about struggles with an external threat, but with the forces contained in our own shadows. Just as there are no dragons or trolls, the demons in your shadow are not real either, except to you. Although ancient, these stories are about YOUR struggle.
Fairy tales contain the wisdom of thousands of years of experience of dealing with life, and the hero or heroine always comes out on top. That’s not just to make for a happy ending, that’s really the way life is. In this game, the deck is totally stacked in your favor. Regardless of how it may feel today, you’re going to win this one! However, that doesn’t say anything about what you’ll put yourself through on the way!
Our rational culture has trampled the old myths into the dust, so instead of an intriguing story about slaying dragons or defeating witches, I’ll just give you the facts, although it sort of takes the fun and adventure out of it.
FACT: When you came to earth, because of your unfinished awareness, you felt separated from the Creator and this lead to profound feelings of shame – unworthiness, being rejected, being abandoned, etc. This was intended. It happens to everyone. It exposes the unfinished areas of your awareness. Read that again – every-one – feels shame. Africans, Chinese, Hispanics, Anglos and Eskimos – everyone. Coincidence? Hardly. It is the opening round of this business called life.
FACT: The shame issues exacerbated by your separation from the Creator are directly connected to the issues raised in your relationship with your parents. There have been 7.2 billion children in the world and every one of them found childhood to be a trial. Doesn’t that strike you as a little odd? No matter how hard some parents try, life remains a challenge for their children. And again, this is not coincidental.
This is an extension of the shame issues as they play out into our daily lives. Our shame determines the parents we select, the life experiences we have and the intensity of our life lessons. As much as we’d like to blame the “bad guys” in our lives, they are simply actors in a play created for our learning. The perfection of the process is that this interaction gives the other people exactly what they need for their learning as well. Think about how easily your parents can get to you, and if you are a parent, how easily your kids can push your buttons. Again, coincidence? In every case? I don’t think so.
FACT: You have free will. And although this is a powerful resource, it can pose a real problem when it comes to learning. You cannot just be told or taught, you must find the truth for yourself. And interestingly enough, the best way to convince you of the truth is to start you off believing an untruth. Example: “I have been separated from God, therefore I must be unworthy.”
Eventually you see through the deception and hold the truth in a way not possible by any other means. But you have to come to it on your own – with a lot of help and nudging from the Creator for sure – but ultimately each of us must find the truth individually.
FACT: None of the things you have come to believe about yourself can be true! The whole shame thing and all the beliefs that go with it, cannot possibly be true. It is a zero-sum game because unworthiness is a deception. It is a grand set-up, pitting your personal feelings of inadequacy against the ultimate truth that you are a child of God and cannot be any of the things you believe.
Today when pushed, you move to shame. And so long as you believe in it and the beliefs associated with it, there will be friction with others. And as difficult as that may be, friction also creates opportunities for learning and change. Conversely, when you hold the Truth about who you are, your life is friction free!
Because it is universal, we accept life almost without question. And, since it happens to everyone, it just must be the way life is, right? At some point you have to stand back from all this – the same thing happening to every person on the planet, believing things that cannot possibly be true, everyone having difficult childhoods – and realize that something far more significant is taking place, specifically, your evolution into a being of higher level consciousness.
Still think that your problems are uniquely your own? Now, you do have your own journey to complete, and you can cause yourself a lot of unnecessary pain on the way, but are you feeling perhaps a little less isolated?
As a species, we do not yet accept who we are. We do not yet embrace the fullness of our beingness. But, that is changing. How will that happen? By our – individually and collectively – deciding that we have nothing to be ashamed of. By our learning to pay attention to the every-day frictions we have with others (especially those close to us) and learning and growing from them. And finally, by accepting the truth about who we are.
Now, if you will excuse me, I will go back to my fairy tales. . . .