It is very likely that some part of you feels unworthy, inadequate, etc. That’s a pretty normal feeling at this stage in our evolution. Those beliefs come from your life experiences, especially your early ones. You were quite impressionable then.
Those beliefs could not have formed had you known who you truly were. But because you did not, it was easy for you to get sucked into shame, self-doubt and whatnot.
You came here to heal that part of you that gets scared and pulls away because it doesn’t know the truth about who you are. And the best way to remedy that, believe or not, is to expose you to the “dark” side of your feelings.
The process begins when as a child you were set up by being given only conditional love. “I will love you if . . . . “ That fed your fragile sense of unworthiness and led to the creation of a set of beliefs about yourself.
And that created friction between yourself and others, leading to pain. That pain would provide the motivation for you to eventually reject your old beliefs – to transform, not who you were, but how you saw yourself – in other words, to change your beliefs (especially about yourself) for the truth. You are somewhere on that path at this moment.
However you choose to see it, your beliefs fuel your fear and make up your karmic “burden.” And you came here to work through that. Eventually you will come to stand strongly in the truth about who you are.
We carry the unfinished areas of our awareness from lifetime to lifetime, helping to foster the mistaken image of a “cosmic ledger,” that needs to be balanced.
But life is a carefully constructed series of encounters designed to help you resolve your fears and learn the truth about yourself.
Children do not come in with a blank slate, as is often presumed. They are not conscious of it, in the same way that you are not, but the energy of what they need to learn shapes and influences everything about their lives, even before they are born. It’s not predestination because the events are dynamic and fluid, responding to our efforts at personal growth (or the lack of it).
The energy of your karma effects everything you do. It shapes your relationships, guides your career, controls your friendships, etc. Under the circumstances, it is easy to feel that you are being punished or must pay for past behavior, but that’s just not the case.
You are in school and are being taught. You are being urged to have greater compassion and you are being shown the places where you do not – where you hold back. That’s what life is for – it’s what it’s about.
Life’s purpose is to energize your learning, not to condemn or punish. From the human perspective it’s a hard way to to learn. We don’t like it. But truthfully, we’re not supposed to. If we did, there would be little motivation for us to change. And the thing is, it’s a really effective process.
By the way, I have already read the book and in the final chapter, God wins.