OK, something happens – good or bad – it doesn’t matter. In that moment you have a choice – you either hold compassion for the other or dump all over them. Every situation, every moment, presents you with that choice.
Notice that I am separating out the content of the event from your feelings about it. You don’t have to like what they did, in fact, you probably won’t. But you can have compassion for them, regardless – that is what Mastery is about.
You won’t like it when someone hits your car or speaks badly about you behind your back. Life doesn’t require that you simply take those things lying down, but you can do what you need to do with compassion. And if we all started to do that, think of how the world would change!
What keeps you from moving to compassion are your beliefs. If you approach life believing you are inadequate or that God doesn’t love you – or whatever – then when something happens you feel like the cover to your inadequacy has been exposed. Then you have to protect yourself. And the easiest way to do that is to scratch the offender’s eyes out.
But what does that really accomplish? It only makes the other person defensive and digs you both deeper into a hole. You’ll get a lot further by firmly telling the guy who just hit your car that it’s really unwise to be talking on his cell phone while driving. Reaming him out really doesn’t accomplish anything except expose your own insecurity and as I said, escalate him into confrontation.
Sure you’re going to be inconvenienced by having to deal with insurance, the repair shop, etc., etc. But being angry at him isn’t going to change any of that. You’re still going to have to go through the steps. Sure, you can feel frustrated, but being angry only messes up your life. You’re not likely to have any effect on him anyway.
Let’s look at this whole thing from another perspective:This situation has been created for the express purpose of giving you the opportunity to move to compassion. That’s right – every situation you experience has been specifically designed for you to give you that opportunity. Every situation.
That’s the way life works. That is our learning process. It is how we change. Challenge and response. The next challenge will be based on your previous response. Move to compassion and everything cools down.
Jump to anger and you will be presented with another situation. All you have to do is hang around. It’s like the ocean, there’s always another wave. Only in this case the next wave will be bigger, making clinging to your beliefs even more painful. If you continue to resist eventually things escalate until you have no choice but to surrender. But, there is always – in every situation – the opportunity to move to compassion.
Compassion makes you “transparent” to the events of life. When something happens you don’t take it in as you probably do today. Compassion allows you to step back and look at what the other person is doing instead of having to defend your position. It moves you from “Me” to “We.” And that is a remarkable gift.
Life is presenting you with that opportunity right now. What will you chose?
copyright©Blue Lotus Press 2016