by Ross Bishop
The idea is simple: remove the conflicts from your life. After all, without conflict, life would be peaceful. Though straightforward in theory, living in harmony can be difficult. But there’s even more to it.
The Creator uses the conflict caused by our beliefs to awaken us to something within us that needs to be reconciled with the truth. It is His way of guiding us toward enlightenment. You see, we couldn’t simply be made enlightened; we have free will, so we had to choose it ourselves. That’s both the strength and the challenge of the process. And that is why we have come to Earth.
And from the ego’s perspective, this whole situation is really frustrating! But through your pain, you might realize that part of you isn’t in harmony with the truth. Without it, you probably wouldn’t become aware. However, we often see our pain as punishment for our faults, which is completely wrong.
Here’s how it works: When I feel insecure, I experience internal discomfort, which is the universe’s first way of signaling me that something I believe is out of sync. But I’ve felt this way since I was a child, and I’ve grown used to it. So, right or wrong, I believe this is an important, although negative, part of who I am.
The second type of message comes from others. People will react to my withholding in different ways, and if I can learn to listen instead of always defending myself, the messages they send can be very helpful (as long as I don’t just use them to tear myself down).
The problem is that the ego doesn’t want to hear any of this. It is committed to keeping the status quo, which can be quite a challenge on its own. Then life sends messages, through our pain, that things need to change, and that disrupts everything. The ego can find many reasons not to change, but the pain from our disharmony will grow into crises and eventually weaken our resistance, quite often in spite of ourselves.
So, what should you do? First, start to pay greater attention your internal tension and the messages you receive from others. These are warning signs that something isn’t right. Second, realize that who you think you are isn’t fixed in stone. There are reasons you feel insecure, unlovable, unworthy, and so on. These come from the wounds you received in childhood, and they shape your beliefs about yourself. None of these beliefs are true, and luckily, they can all be changed.
Third, understand that you don’t have to eat the whole elephant in one bite. You can make changes gradually, as you choose and feel safe. But this all comes at a cost. No matter how dysfunctional, your old way of being was familiar, and you were used to it. The new beliefs you are being asked to adopt are unfamiliar and may feel threatening. There will be internal conflict as the old part of you resists change.
The thing is, there is only one place for us to go! No matter how much you wiggle and squirm, you are going to end up in the same place as the rest of us, relinquishing your false beliefs for the truth. The only issue is, how much pain you are willing to cause yourself by clinging to your old way of being.
Having direct and ongoing contact with the Creator can be very helpful. It provides a strong foundation of truth to help you through uncertain times. I teach a technique for building this connection in my workshop “Life and Happiness.” Just go to the “Workshop” tab on the website.
