Humans tend to segregate things into good and bad. We all make and hold judgments. We have issues with former lovers, business partners, co-workers, neighbors, former friends, parents, siblings, etc. We focus on the other people, but judgment is not about them at all.
So long as you feel that you can be hurt, you will need your resentments and judgments because they provide psychological distance between you and something you have issues about that you are not prepared to address. (Hint: otherwise you would not get triggered by it.) This is all done because some part of you fears being “exposed” and criticized.
Your judgment of another person is actually about your own unwillingness to address a sticky personal issue. Your resentment and judgment are merely ways to create a smokescreen, to deflect away from you inner anxiety. But, this also arrests your spiritual development. Forcing this issue to the surface is the gift (like it or not) that other people give you through their cantankerous, hurtful and objectionable behavior. And at the heart of all this are the issues you came to earth to resolve! They are the same.
God blesses everyone without discrimination, regardless of species, race, sex, politics, wealth or nationality, God does not distinguish. It rains on the saint and the sinner alike. In God’s world there are no “good guys and bad guys,” because everything, especially what we call “bad,” comes from God in order to help us learn. It is important to remember that God is omnipotent and that nothing, “good or bad”, can exist without His/Her sanction.
As you develop spiritually, you will naturally begin to question your beliefs (especially the ones you hold about yourself). In time, you will come to realize that the people you hold resentments toward (including yourself) were bringing you opportunities to challenge what you believe and the related emotional issues it generates.
There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself from those who would do you harm, but it is also important to bless these people. We have been tossing common people into prisons for centuries, and although it does help to get criminals off the street, in all those years we haven’t done much toward solving the problem either. These people are undoubtedly misguided, angry and probably very lost, but they are as trapped by their circumstance and history as much as anyone. What they need is help, not recrimination. Since God does not smite them with lightning or the plague, we can safely assume that they are playing a part in God’s grand design. And that brings us to a central concept of blessing. If God does not discriminate, how can we? God’s love is unconditional and so must be our love for one another.
Nothing can change the past. For many people it was a difficult time. Being able to accept the gift of another’s hurtful action means moving through the pain of the situation. That is what Christ meant when He said, “. . .turn the other cheek.” But if you are still in significant pain from what happened, no matter how long ago it was, the fear of being hurt again will simply be too strong to allow you to embrace the larger lesson and forgive. You are simply not ready to do that yet. Your inner one may have been severely traumatized, and under no circumstance do you want to ignore her feelings and her pain in your rush to forgiveness. If you do, it will just boomerang on you anyway. At the same time don’t wallow in your victimization either. This is not about “getting over it,” it is about learning what you need from the situation and then moving on with your life. The hurting one inside could really use your help.
As you begin to see the larger agenda that drives the events of your life, you gain the freedom to bless other people for helping you on your journey, especially if you did not like what they (or you) did. You may also learn to bless the process called life that you very likely have some negative feelings about as well. Seeing life in this way frees you from the emotional burdens you have been carrying, probably for years. In doing this, you discover a very important spiritual principle: it is not possible to bless and judge at the same time. Vivianne Crowley writes:
To heal is to change the perception of a condition – not the condition! This is True perception.
This is standing on the bridge of the cross. The very concept of opposites is a concept of division, of split seeing. We only see one side of the whole at a time. If someone paid us with a coin we most certainly would not say: ‘I dislike the tail side of the coin, give me the head side only’. A coin comes with two sides, so does life in the temporal world. We accept the two sides of the coin as one coin. Yet we do not accept the two sides of life as ONE life.
Obviously, there is a conflict here and that is our way of seeing. True perception always sets us free from conflict because it does not perceive conflict.
Our lives can be considered a sacred quest. It is a quest which may have begun in this lifetime or many lifetimes before. It is a quest to find ourselves: who and what we really are. To do this we must first cease to pretend to be what we are not. We must cast away our persona or mask. We must be prepared to confront the shadow, that which we are and rather were not. Only then can we unify our conscious and unconscious minds and so give birth to the hidden Sun – the self.
To bless is to rejoice in the perfection of life, not just its joys. It means that irrespective of our difficulties, we recognize that we are also in a state of grace. We understand that things must be difficult at times in order for us to learn, and that our lessons come from a loving and benevolent Creator. It also means that we recognize that affairs on earth are exactly as they need to be.
copyright©Blue Lotus Press 2016