by Ross Bishop
This business of life is not about becoming something different than you are. It is about accepting the truth about your specialness. And that means letting go of your beliefs of unworthiness – accepting the truth of who you are. It is the resolution of that seeming conflict that will eventually bring you to discard what you have come to believe and accept the truth about yourself.
Surrendering to a new way of being means exposing more of yourself than you are accustomed to. Expanding your boundaries leaves you feeling vulnerable. And that can be a scary proposition, indeed! Making the jump to what I call the God Space means leaving the security and familiarity of your beliefs, no matter how dysfunctional they are, and entering a new space where there are no protections and nothing to hide behind.
It doesn’t matter that the beliefs you shield yourself with are false, they have gotten you this far, they have given you at least a sense of security your whole life! And it is very difficult to just give them up. Releasing your beliefs means finding the courage to change, while still being afraid. Finding a new way of being asks a great deal of you. The good news is, there is nothing to hide from!
God is aware of the big step that making this transition can be. That is why He created this process called life to help us make the transition in measured steps. The dilemma, and this is big, is that there isn’t much support for making the decision to surrender. You must make it essentially on faith. That is a precaution built into the process that helps insure that you are really ready for what lies ahead. That is why the process moves at a deliberate pace – in order to limit the shock and stress to your system.
Here’s how it works: in every moment you are presented with the opportunity to move to compassion – mostly toward yourself. You can either say, “Yes” to life and embrace the moment, or close down and turn away. Then comes the next moment and you are again presented with the same opportunity, only with greater intensity. And so it goes until you get it.
In more robust times people turned to the support of religion to help them make the transition. But making that step, finding the faith to change, to trust in something greater than yourself and your ego, is what you came here to do.
Each conflict, whether internally with yourself or externally with another person, provides an opportunity to recognize your self-imposed limitations, come to terms with the fears and beliefs that drive them and then move beyond them. Every conflict you have is an instance of your pushing back against the inevitable pressure of The Universe (which is constantly urging you to move to greater compassion). Even if you are on the side of the angels in your disagreement, the fact that you are in conflict tells us that you are attached, in some way or other, to a belief.
Eventually, the pain from your repeated failures will become so intense and your frustration with yourself so great that you will break from your past. With little more to go on than faith that anything would be better than the way things have been, you will abandon the security of what you have known, take a leap of faith into the unknown and enter into a new way of thinking and believing.
That is why I say that having a problem is a gift (although it rarely feels that way). It provides an opportunity to learn from your pain, find the truth and dig yourself out of the proverbial hole that you have created for yourself. Most of us get stuck in shame, self-doubt and recrimination, losing the opportunity to learn and grow from life’s lessons. That is why we get so many of them. . .
If you could see what you came here to resolve, you would understand the perfect relationship between your day-to-day difficulties and the lessons God is trying to bring to you. Your daily issues must be addressed, but until you deal with your underlying fears, they will continue to generate problems for you. I think John Geiger said it best:
There is a purpose for everyone you meet.
Some people will test you, some will use you, some will bring out
the best in you, but everyone will teach you something about yourself.
Both positive and negative relationships teach you valuable lessons.
This is an incredible step toward expanding your consciousness.
The road to self-discovery requires help from others.
As humans we are always seeking feedback and approval from others.
That is how we learn and become better as individuals.
No relationship is a waste of time.
The wrong ones teach you the lessons
that prepare you for the right ones.
Appreciate everyone that enters your life because they are
contributing to your growth and happiness.
Booker T. Washington was born a slave in 1856. He rose to become the first leader of the Tuskegee Institute and author of the widely read, Up From Slavery. This is my paraphrase of something he wrote:
Greatness lies not in what you achieve, but in what you overcome.
We get lost in our failures. We put a pejorative spin on the feeling, we turn it, which is our natural predisposition, into a negative. If something doesn’t work, we blame ourselves and our shortcomings, instead of realizing that it was “simply” an expression of not having learned how to deal with our unresolved needs. We say to ourselves, “I am not finished, therefore there must be something wrong with me. I must be inadequate or unworthy.”
We often don’t realize that the process we are involved in is anchored in a surprisingly few Universal Truths. Take the Ten Commandments or The Beatitudes, for example. Look how beautifully life goes when we live according to Universal Truth – you know, the things that Christ taught and what is in the Ten Commandments: “Love one another,” “Don’t lie or steal,” “Help one another,” “Do unto others . . . ,” “Care for the less fortunate,” – you know the drill. Living according to these principles is the definition of heaven on earth. If you want a truly happy life, that is the formula.
Conversely, look at the pain and struggles we create for ourselves when we are self-centered, dishonest, scared, cruel, uncaring and greedy. It makes a living hell for us and for those around us. How many people do you know who at a deep level, feel inadequate or empty and unfulfilled? Perhaps you feel that way. . .
What is it that contributes to that feeling? What are you hanging on to about yourself that keeps you from surrendering to the blessings of The Universe? What are you afraid to let go of?
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