I once met a man who kept a pet skunk. He (understandably) didn’t have many friends.
I said to him, “Why don’t you get rid of the skunk?”
“I can’t,” he replied, “it’s the only friend I have!”
Where do your problems come from? They come from your “bad” decisions.
What is a “bad” decision? One that is based in fear and anxiety.
What creates fear and anxiety? The loss of something you are attached to – like your ego.
What causes attachment? Belief – primarily what you believe about yourself.
What do you believe will happen if you let go? Loss. Annihilation.
Life presents you with situations. There are many options to most situations, but there is always only one good decision. What is the good decision? In every case, it will be the one that moves you to greater compassion (usually toward yourself). It is the decision making process that challenges your fear and asks you to look at what you believe.
Most of the time our beliefs make us afraid and anxious so that we are unable to make the compassionate decision. It leaves us feeling too vulnerable and exposed. So we make a less than great decision. As a result, we don’t choose the best partner, go for the brass ring at work and don’t take stands that might upset others. When it comes to our needs versus those of others, our needs are simply not as important.
Often we are so anxious and afraid that we do not even see situations clearly. We chose to not be aware because that would force us where we are reluctant to go. It would require our surrender, and that feels extremely unsafe.
Having made a “bad” decision, the result is pain, despair, discomfort and frustration. It has to be that way. The Universe will not tolerate disharmony, and you have made a disharmonious decision. The Universe will apply pressure (you feel discomfort) until you come to terms with the beliefs that drive your decisions (come to know the truth). And until you do, the part of you that holds beliefs is going to be an ongoing source of difficulty.
(Note: sometimes we are hurt by the decisions or radical behavior of others – in sexual abuse for example, but that is a completely different kind of situation.)
The beliefs you hold are like being in a leaky rowboat. You can try to bail the boat – keep putting band-aids on your problems – but that just covers them up, it doesn’t resolve problems or make them go away. They just sit there and fester, waiting to explode in your face. If you bail really, really hard, you can keep the boat from sinking, but bailing is exhausting – it consumes enormous amounts of personal energy, and your body will eventually fail from the stress. We call that disease.
When you refuse to address the underlying beliefs that drive your behaviors and decisions, your problems are guaranteed to eventually overwhelm you. They must, so long as you hold your beliefs. This is an important thing to remember: There is only one path. And like it or not, you are being brought to live from that path. You can choose to go kicking and screaming – in pain, or peacefully. The choice is yours. The outcome will be the same in either case.
copyright©Blue Lotus Press 2016